Diary of a West End Estate Agent
Laurence Glynne is a partner in the firm of West End Estate
Agents, LDG
Eccentric Rock Stars, Scantily Clad Actors and an Athletic
Mouse mean there’s never a dull moment in the West End
Monday
I went to Brewer Street in Soho to take instruction on a flat
for a well-known, eccentric pop star. There was no electricity,
but there was just enough light to se the front rooms. The flat
was empty except for a couple of items.
As I walked into the reception room, I was a large glass tank
filled with a layer of sand and dead leaves, bark and twigs.
It had obviously been home to a reptile of some sort in the
past. I cautiously went over to see whether there was any sign
of life – none to my relief.
Next I went into the rear bedroom, which was almost empty.
I measured the room, then checked the wardrobe – at which
point an elaborately dressed mannequin fell into my arms. Once
I’d recovered from the shock, I locked up and left post-haste.
Tuesday
We have been asked to find a flat to rent for an actress who
is rehearsing for a forthcoming show, and today found a great-sounding
penthouse maisonette in Soho’s Chinatown for £1,000
per week. The weather was fantastic and I waited in optimistic
mood outside the property for the producer’s PA to arrive
and view it.
We entered the flat and were horrified to see the state it
was in. The two bankers who’d lived there had left it like
a pigsty (and that’s a compliment), but luckily it was
possible to see that it’s a great space with a stunning
reception and roof terrace.
During the afternoon, I had a call from a music producer desperate
to see a rare freehold house in Litchfield Street, a stone’s
throw from the Ivy restaurant in Covent Garden, which is on
the market for £825,000. It has been under offer for weeks
but there’s been no sign of contracts being exchanged so
far. I made encouraging noises and we arranged a viewing for
tomorrow.
Wednesday
The music producer made an offer on Litchfield Street of £825,000
– cash. I knew the current buyer was not proposing to pay
cash, and when I put forward the new offer to the vendor, he
said he would give his answer tomorrow. In the afternoon he
changed his mind, and said that he would sell to my client for
the increased price of £850,000, as long as the exchange
was attended – which means that the two sets of lawyers
get together face to face to wrap up the deal in one session.
Our client agreed and left the office a happy man.
I later showed some purchasers a three-bedroom flat on the
market for £295,000 in a block behind the Shaftsbury Theatre.
The fell in love with it at first sight, despite the fact that
a mouse sprinted across the carpet.
This morning a rock star viewed a wonderful redesigned studio
warehouse in Mercer Street, Covent Garden, and immediately made
an acceptable offer of £750,000 – cash. Contrary
to popular belief, converted residential warehouses in Covent
Garden are truly scarce – most of the drop-dead gorgeous
buildings around there are, in fact, offices.
Friday
I went to Great Portland Street in Fitzrovia to show potential
buyers a top-floor flat which enjoys outstanding views. On arrival,
I was greeted by the vendor, a woman in a thong, who calmly
said: “Sorry, we’re filing at the moment – can
you come back later?”
I could see scantily clad women in the background and realised
that this was not a PG-rated movie. Fortunately, the prospective
purchasers hadn’t arrived yet, so I waited for them outside
and when they appeared made suitable excuses about how this
was not the most convenient time to view.
One advantage of working in the West End is that you rarely
become bored.
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